Kitchen Canister Makeover

My mom thought I was crazy when I picked up a set of dirty kitchen canisters at Goodwill and exclaimed how perfect they were. However, I saw potential. I had seen a set at a popular retailer that cost around $130 that I LOVED. There is no way on Earth I would pay that much for a set of canisters, so I set out to recreate the look as cheaply as possible. Total cost for the canisters: $12.

Do What You Love

This afternoon was a reminder of how much I love my job. I want to keep pushing harder to excel in my craft. There is really nothing better than capturing these moments for clients. Here is a little peek at today's client. He's pretty stinkin' cool!

Wally World Transformation

While making a quick Walmart diaper run, I picked up this clearance track suit for a couple bucks. A few scraps of fabric, some old jewelry, and about an hour later, this is what we turned out with! Woo! If I only could have found her nautical headband. It's somewhere around this place! Oh well. Just thought I would share!

Two Pink Lines Changed My Life

When I decided to start this blog, I promised to be real...to put aside fears of judgement...to share my real joys and also my real struggles. So here goes....

Most know my past with Micah. That's just part of growing up in a small town. For those that don't, here's a crash course. 

I spent most of my life being the "good kid"...sassy...but a good kid. My family was, by all accounts, the picture of the American family. I grew up with parents that not only stayed together, but honestly loved each other. My brother was a star athlete and model son. I was a great student and involved in the arts. We were close, we traveled, we were heavily involved in church and never missed an activity. But my senior year of high school changed all that. 

So much of that year has been put out of my mind now...locked in a place that is reserved for dark nights when I'm alone with a glass of wine. I was being a teenager....stupid and reckless. I wanted to be something I wasn't, and was willing to compromise my values to get there. I was involved with people I shouldn't have been. Long story short, and a series of stupid decisions later, I was staring down at a pee strip with two pink lines that may have well said "Kiss life-as-you-know-it goodbye".

I couldn't have possibly known at that time just how much that series of decisions would change my life and the lives of those around me. Nearly 7 years later, I feel as though I am looking at the ashes of my childhood. Out of respect of those involved, I won't get into too many details, but I can see how my actions had a chain effect which seriously damaged the lives of nearly everyone I loved. 

I used to live by the motto "No regrets," but now I realize that it can only apply to my life. I have no regrets in regards to how my actions affected me. I found a way back to the person I should have been thanks to those decisions. I found redemption, happiness, and purpose thanks to those decisions. However, I am consumed by a tremendous amount of regret, guilt, and sadness because those same decisions had a profound effect on those that I love. 

I regret that my parents were too consumed with the consequences of my choices to focus on their own happiness. 

I regret that my brother chose a path of destruction his senior year as a result of my example. 

I regret that I stole part of my brother's childhood from him by thrusting him into a chaotic situation that he never asked for. 

I regret that my son is now forced to grow up in a broken home scenario amidst tension and argument. 

I regret that my daughter will never be privileged to have the relationship with her brother that I was given. 

I regret that my husband must constantly be faced with the reality of my baggage and the challenges it presents. 

I regret that our entire family walks on eggshells in fear of upsetting the sensitive balance of my relationship with my son's father. 

I regret that I tarnished my family name and my parents' pride in myself and my brother. 

I feel that so much bad was thrust onto my family because of me. The guilt and sadness of that reality is sometimes so overwhelming that it physically hurts. Sometimes I truly believe that this is God's punishment for my choices. Every choice has a consequence and these are mine to accept. 

I am so tired of being trapped in the past and burdened with blame and guilt. I am searching for peace by first facing reality, regardless of how much it may hurt. All I can see are the years passing by me, and I feel like this regret and guilt is robbing me of them.  

There is a song that is so powerful and so inspirational to me, that it keeps me believing that I can rise above my past. That song is "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts. My hope is that I can reach this point. The lyrics speak straight to my heart. The video is of the song and lyrics if you are interested in listening. 

Until next time, I'll meet you in Dreamland. 

Never Grow Up

Music has this incredible ability to touch us in a way that sometimes words cannot. For Micah & Penelope, Taylor Swift's "Never Grow Up"...

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger

And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming

So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret

I'd give all I have, honey

If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up

Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up

Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart

And no one will desert you

Just try to never grow up, never grow up

Why "Meet Me in Dreamland"?

Welcome to my blog!

Puddle Jumping

I guess you could really consider this more of an online account of my feelings, my thoughts, and my interactions with the world. No agenda, nothing to sell, nothing to promote. This is just my place to think, to express, and to share.

My life is anything but typical, but completely expected, all at the same time. It's hilarious and tragic. It's chaotic despite my attempts at planning. It's ever changing, always evolving, and still I'm surprised when life proves to me just how unaccepting I am of that fact. Sometimes my life is entertaining, and sometimes it's completely boring. One thing it always is: REAL.

Sword Building

That is what you will find here. You will find me and my my life...my children's comments that send me into hysterics, the moments that truly         challenge me, and the sources that inspire me.

Playing the piano

I named this blog after a song I used to sing my son when he was little. When we were going through particularly rough times, and we both were scared, we used to talk about a place called Dreamland. It was a place for solace for the two of us.

Anyone who has spent much time in my home knows that I make up some of the most random songs for my kids. One night, my sweet little boy was feeling the strain of the failed relationship of his father and I, and so I sang this to help him fall asleep. After that, the song became a regular. It helped us remember that there was always an escape when we were afraid or in despair. Besides my dear husband, I haven't shared this song with anyone.

Close your eyes and drift to sleep. 

We'll fly by pillowcase to Dreamland. 

Where nothing can find us is where we'll belong. 

Close your eyes and meet me in Dreamland.

Thank you for reading. I'd love to have you join me on my journey. I'm an open book. Feel free to ask me questions, share your own experiences, or respond to my posts. Until next time, I'll meet you in Dreamland.